I had a productive day I cleaned everything and made banana bread and made a decent lunch despite having a few drinks last night. I then spent time laughing with my nephew and step nephew, children’s take on the world is incredibly soothing. Just running makes them laugh like crazy, I can’t remember the last time I ran let alone ran and laughed because I was having so much fun doing it. The warmth on my back and the sunlight falling across the park through the beautiful tall trees by the river and their giggling, so perfect. I wish I could write better, I can’t articulate how wonderful that feeling was. That is what life is. Then the atmosphere fizzled up and heard my mother fight our corner. And now I am here Sunday eve, ticking over and pondering and thinking and trying to decide things. Also my sister described me as ‘annoyingly calm’ today, is that because I don’t let myself feel things?
Ms. Ho~ Onra
Need to wake up and go. This weather makes me even more lazy. I had ice cream for dinner because it’s too hot and I didn’t want to make the flat hotter by turning on the oven, plus eating creates more heat and I am just lazy. I have things to say but I am having a night off from thinking, kinda.
The bronze mermaid from the Middle East, the age of 3000 years.
I am annoyed at myself for being shit at making appointments and general life maintenance stuff. I rang the doctors yesterday to make an appointment and they were like ‘ermm you don’t go here anymore, you left us in 2008’ …awkward. Reminded me of Mean Girls ‘YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US’. Shows how often I go to the doctors. I also need to go to dentist and go get my eyes checked. Why can’t I seem to make myself ring the numbers and get it bloody done. What is my problem? I waste so much time thinking (and now typing on tumblr) ‘oh I need to to that’ just bloody do it! I know I drive the other half mad with it all.
'The other half' is a weird saying isn't it? Like I need this other person to be whole, yeah he's super but he doesn't complete me. He does make life better, he also makes life more irritating but the rough with the smooth aye tehehe.
God I bore myself, sorry to whoever is reading this you must be asleep.
I popped up to Leeds for the Grand Départ of the Tour De France this weekend, and for some fun with the Yorkshire family. So glad I went it was really fun, so much fun I just bought this print to remind me of a great weekend. Any excuse aye.
I don’t know what it is about spending time with family that grounds me and makes me feel solid again. Maybe it’s a safety thing, or the link to carefree childhood and old memories. Feeling in a good place this evening. My inner voice currently has a Yorkshire accent on the go, it will probably be a few days before it fades back to my Shropshire-y one.
In other news I managed to burn my forehead in Yorkshire. How I even survive life is beyond me.
Jessie Ware ~ Tough Love
I have a week off yaay, hence the tumblring and not sleeping right now. I am going to spend the time getting my mental strength back and sorting the flat some more. I am mildly irritated that the Room of Doom is becoming peripheral mess and that I am getting used to the junk and crap that lives in there. Must get rid of it so it can become a room of use.
So week off. I may even read a book. Big plans aye.
I think part of my problem is that I think I can’t do something because before I have even had chance to say yes I have thought of every minute thing that could go wrong. And then I just say no because I am scared. I also worry about other people’s opinions.
But I can do anything. So yeah take that world.